Dad

In loving memory of my Father

I remember our steps,
my hand in yours.
Five steps to your one,
walking quickly to get somewhere.
Up the hill and up Grandma's stairs.

I remember our talks,
my eyes looking in yours.
Five words to your one,
tell me you love me!
Not only once the bottle is done.

I remember our pain,
our wounds cut deep
Your five to my one.
No tears, but no sleep.
The anger it simmers, boils over, still steeps.

I remember our love,
complicated but sweet.
I never doubted that you cared,
but your presence was needed.
Only your dark shadows lingered,
bleeded.

I remember our last meet,
me too scared to kiss your cheek.
Not sure what words to speak,
"Can you hear me?"
My breath too weak,
I barely squeak, "bye daddy."
Unknowingly a fitting feat.