How to Establish Confidence in your Abilities after Getting Hurt

Not a Lack of Motivation, a Lack of Confidence

In a previous blog post I wrote How to master major disruption in your life. I had gone through a period of disruption in which I sustained an injury. I have just engaged in my first workout since my accident in October 2021 where I broke my wrist. It feels good! For the past two months I’ve been telling myself I need to start working out, I need to lose weight, I need to get back on track. I’ve been trying to figure out why it was so hard for me to just do a workout or go out for a brisk walk for exercise. I realized it wasn’t a lack of motivation, it was a lack of confidence in my abilities. I had to learn how to establish confidence in my abilities after getting hurt.

Slowly Establishing my Confidence

My injury caused me to be extra cautious in order to protect myself. When I first started occupational therapy, my therapist said you are being overly cautious and it’s hurting you more than helping you. Today the instructor said go into plank position. I thought oh no, what if my wrist is not strong enough to support my weight, but I pushed that thought aside and just tried it. My wrist was strong enough to support the pose! I felt relief and a confidence building by how strong my wrist felt supporting my body. Going from not being able to hold a fork or turn a doorknob to holding up my XXX lbs of weight is an incredible feat, if I do say so myself. I was establishing my confidence by doing something I thought I couldn’t do. I heard from the doctors, “your arm is healed”, but what I thought in my mind was “I can’t do it”.

Different Hurts Cause a Lack of Confidence in our Abilities

We all suffer from different kinds of hurt; physical, emotional, physcological, relational, etc. Each of these events chip away at our self esteem, trust in ourselves, and trust in others. We start to question our decisions and our judgment. This can all contribute to a lack of confidence in our abilities and cause us to either shrink and hide or lash out in order to protect ourselves. Before getting into the steps of How to Establish Confidence in your abilities after getting hurt, let’s talk about Moses.

Related: Pressured to be good enough? That’s Guilt, not God

Moses and His Lack of Confidence

When I think of someone with a lack of confidence in the bible I think of Moses. Moses was chosen to lead his people out of Egypt. Even after experiencing the burning bush and the signs he was able to perform because God, Yahweh was with him, he still had a lack of confidence in his abilities. After Moses witnessed the signs of turning his staff to a snake, his hand showing an illness and being healed, and God multiple times reassuring him that he could do it, he still pleaded and made excuses as to why he couldn’t. His plead was this, “But Moses pleaded with the Lord, ‘Oh Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.'”(Exodus 4:10 NLT)

So this is interesting to me because it seems that Moses is talking to the Lord just fine and is only describing what happens when he speaks. If he had to explain what happens when he speaks, to me it seems that it wasn’t happening in the moment. He is essentially saying, even though you have spoken to me and it’s not happening now, I have never been able to speak well and cannot speak well now, even though technically I am doing it right now.

“Anyone But Me”, The Confidence Stealer

I believe that Moses was healed of his stutter, in the presence of the Lord, but let his doubts about his capabilities and lack of confidence miss what God was trying to help him see. The Lord replied, “…’Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.’ But Moses again pleaded, ‘Lord, please! Send anyone else.’ ‘Then the Lord became angry with Moses.” (Exodus 3:11-14 NLT) Now, I feel like if the Lord had popped Moses in the mouth, I wouldn’t be mad at him. He is trying to get Moses out of his own way. Moses just keeps holding on to, “Not me, I’m not the one, I can’t do it.“

We are all Moses

Now does this seem familiar or is it just me. The old folks say, “tell the truth and shame the devil.” I will tell the truth… I am not too far off from Moses. I could say “oh my gosh, the Lord literally told him five or six times that he could do it, that he would be with him, and gave him a way to show proof to other people so they would believe him. And he is still saying he can’t do it?!” The Lord was like, “this boy still can’t see it, I will show mercy and make provision for him, even though I the Lord know what he is capable of because I am the Lord. Like really Bro?”

God feels the same way about us! He has called us and equipped us, made us for a specific purpose. He’s telling us GO do the thing I created you to do, and we are telling him, “No, I can’t do that. I’m not smart enough, I’m not pretty enough, I’m not talented enough”… etc. In one sense, all of that is true. If we are trying to do it by ourselves. If we do it in our own way, then we don’t have enough of what we need. What we need is God, Yahweh, I AM WHO I AM… what?! Who doesn’t want to role with someone who says my name is I AM WHO I AM, ask about me! That should give us all the confidence we need to do anything. Alas we are only mere humans.

How to establish confidence in your abilities after getting hurt

So finally, how to establish confidence in your abilities after getting hurt. Before I get into that I have a theory. Somebody told Moses at some point during his young life that he could not speak well. Maybe kids teased him because of his stutter, maybe he already felt inferior because he was different and not actually a part of Pharaoh’s family even though he lived with them. Something happened to make him believe that he couldn’t do it even when the Lord God himself is telling him he can. Oh boy, the Lord is speaking to me today! I hope he’s speaking to you too. Here are a few ways to establish or reestablish your confidence after a hurtful situation:

1. Be clear about what it is God is telling you to do.

Unfortunately, there aren’t many burning bushes around to talk some sense into us but we can go before the Lord and seek him to understand what it is we should be doing.

2. Believe in what God says, not what people say.

It is challenging to believe who we are in Christ sometimes. What we see and how we feel is usually contradictory to what the word says. There is a tension between who we think we are and who we really are. Believe God and study his word, so that you can find your identity in Christ.

3. Just try it, Go for it, Do it!

There is no guarantee that you will be successful, there is also no guarantee that you will fail. In either event you will learn! You will learn what to do or what not to do, how to step out of your comfort zone, and how to have faith in God. You will learn how to believe in yourself again. It takes guts to try something new, or challenging, or just different. The experience of just trying it will increase your confidence to try other new or challenging things. When you continue in this process of believing in yourself and just going for it, your confidence will begin to grow.

4. Be Comfortable with God’s Timing.

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT) When I broke my wrist I thought, “this is the wrong time for this to be happening”. I was in a season of waiting. For about 3 months nothing was happening. However, I was patient and trusted God. As soon as my wrist was healed, things just started happening all at once. I moved into a townhouse. Found a new job. Bought a new car. Gained three potential clients for my own consulting business. My daughter was accepted into a prestigious independent school where now both my children will be attending; all the way through high school. God just continues to keep blessing me and my family.

Related: The path to success: Utilizing wisdom for a successful life

Establish your Confidence

When you are trying to do what God told you to and everything seems to be getting worse instead of better, just wait. Don’t get distracted by the worse, stay focused on the vision. The enemy will step in and say to himself,” Oh, she thinks she is who God says she is, I’m going to show her that she’s not!” Stay focused on God. Even if the vision is overwhelming to you, and you have no idea how it is going to happen, just focus on those 4 steps. Your confidence will grow because you are no longer relying on yourself or listening to others. You are relying on God to do exactly what he said he will do. When you believe in your true identity in Christ, you can’t help but to establish your confidence in your abilities after getting hurt.